On turning 23, responsibilty and relationships

“You are an adult now Rohan. You need to learn that you are now responsible for all your actions – whether it be work, education or more importantly, your relationships”

This is what my dad told me on my 23rd birthday. I think he stressed on that last one because he knows that I am decently sorted at work. It struck a chord with me because it made me reflect on how I’ve been treating my relationships with people. I can be very immature at times with people. It’s ironical because till a few years back, I considered myself to be more mature than most of the people my age.

I want to highlight a few things that I do wrong. I can sometimes carelessly say things that hurt people without realizing that it hurt them badly. I can keep people hanging at times without realizing that my indecision is extremely painful for them. I can ditch plans at the last moment without realizing the disappointment it causes to my friends. I avoid confrontation at all costs and fail to acknowledge that this only causes the conflict to snowball into something much bigger than it is. I can get vengeful and get incredibly sarcastic and flippant. If I dont get what I want, I get very snappy and lash out at people who are only trying to help. Saving the best for last – I can be incredibly self centered at time, specially if I am tired and have just completed a 2hr commute after a 9hr workday!

Indecision.
Careless words.
Fear of hurting people.
Fear of being hurt.
Being self-centered.

That’s immaturity in relationships, distilled. I’m going to work on it this year and hopefully be an Adult 24 year old! If you recognize any of these in yourself, I will simply tell you this – relationships are fragile, even the ones you thought that are bullet proof and will last forever. They are your responsibilty.

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